Two years and twelve days
It took me two years to prepare for this book and twelve days to read it. You need to find the right time and space to dive deep into the tales of psychotherapy. I was surprised by how many moments from a book I found similar to my life.
Irvin D. Yalom shares stories from his career as a psychotherapist and psychiatrist. They show us how difficult this work is and how dedicated one must be to helping others. I didn't know what to expect from this book, but from the first page, I forgot about everything, and I wanted to know more about the older woman's obsession from the first story. Eight years ago, she spent twenty lovely days with a much younger man. And since then, her life has been focused only on the past. This story has a surprising ending and shows that even an experienced psychiatrist might be surprised by how things turn out.
One of my favourite stories was about a woman whose daughter passed away, and she desperately needed help. Irvin D. Yalom was researching the mourning, and she volunteered. The woman decided not to change a thing in her daughter's room. She couldn't stop thinking about her child, and she was blaming herself because she fell asleep at the moment her daughter died in the hospital bed after hours of watching over her. The bereavement completely dominated her life, so she stopped caring for those who were still alive: her husband and two sons. This story climaxes when she's frustrated with her son's behaviour and says that the wrong one died. These words shock her, and she feels even more ashamed as a mother.
How often do we say something that we immediately regret? Does it happen to everyone? If we weigh everything we say to others, only by comparing these words, we must surely find those that hurt someone the most. Irvin D. Yalom finds words that bring relief...
That just seems to be the way we're built.
Not everything was easy to read. Some stories were more personal, and I don't want to mention them here. On the other hand, some of them were told in a way I didn't find respectful to some groups of people. Perhaps it was part of the message. Presenting the human side of the psychiatrist by being fully transparent and honest.
It's a book I recommend, but only if you feel it's the right time. I came back to it after two years since I had finished my therapy. It helped me slow down in my life to think about love, mortality, relationships, and the time we have on this planet. At the end of the day, what matters is a life that we fully live. This book helps to figure out what it means.
